The past few days, as always, have been filled with both fascinating and controversial news usually discussed by the perpetually insomniac social media audience. From the release of new songs/music videos to the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards (AMCVA); from the most unfortunate news that President Jona exonerated some rogues to the disheartening report of the killing of seven hostages by Boko Haram re-loaded, Ansaru.

In one of my articles, I said that one thing which stimulates me about Nigeria is that there are no dull moments; no day passes without one funny episode or the other, be it in high offices or the immediate environment.

Now onto the reason why we are here: Recently a guest on Channels Television’s breakfast programme, Sunrise Daily, embarrassed himself, his career, his family, his friends, his agency and indeed the rest us.

Mr. Obafaiye Shem is the Lagos State Commandant of the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corp (NSCDC). Naturally, one would have thought that a man holding such status would be brilliant and have an in-depth knowledge of where he gets his daily bread. I was wrong as our dear Shem could not “categorically” tell the official website of the NSCDC because only is overall boss knows it.

I missed the programmed where bros goofed, so the first time I saw the phrase “My Oga at the top” trending on twitter, I thought it was a new slang. However, careful surf through the conversation dazed me. Don’t even try to envision my upset when I watched the video.

Honestly, it is sad and shameful that a top echelon in the para-military messed up that much. If he is unable to provide a simple thing as an address on the internet, how did he attain his current locus? What criteria were used in the promotion exercise – if there was any at all? We should ask questions; many of his kind are holding positions of authority, blowing sirens up and down with empty brains.

More worrisome is that the official was invited to speak on the job racketeering in Ministries, Department and Agencies. Who knows, he may have been smuggled into the Corp via the back door or by a special list as habitual. I suggest his employment and all others must be probed. It is good that this problem has come up albeit in the most hilarious manner.

Public and civil officials should know that ours is a clime where the people do not forget stupidity in a hurry and just like the Boys’ Scout, they should always be prepared.

My hope is that the revered “Oga at the top” will not ridicule himself when the searchlight beams on him. As it is stands now, the “Oga at the bottom” fumbled a trillion fold, oh he really did. His time in service should be over soon but since this is Naija, he may get promoted and subsequently become the Commandant General of NSCDC. When that happens, I will personally sue the government in power on the grounds of ‘national insult’.

On a lighter note, I appreciate his blunder. Whenever I wish to laugh plentifully, I simply play back the video which I already saved. In effect, I am considering burning the audiovisual in a disk and then conceal in my bank.

Meanwhile: “Okay, If you want to know about NSCDC as at now; Okay www.nscdc (*mute*)…Yes, so (*coughs*)…daz all” – Lwkmd!

Culled from 247uReports

Apart from his age, close to 80 years, his public service records certainly do not recommend him for all the exalted positions that ‘Africa’s largest’ political party has been bestowing on him.

Let us know what you think about this cartoon.

Culled from PM News

General Carter Ham, head of US Africa Command, met President Goodluck Jonathan of Nigeria, where Islamist extremist group Boko Haram has been carrying out a deadly insurgency in the country’s north and centre.

Ham recently spoke of concerns over indications of collaboration between Boko Haram and an Al-Qaeda affiliate in northern Africa, which he warned has found a safehaven in northern Mali, where Islamists have taken control.

A statement from Nigeria’s presidency said Jonathan discussed issues including Boko Haram and asked for US support in resolving such problems.

“President Jonathan also briefed General Ham on his visit to Mali and the efforts by ECOWAS to resolve the conflict in that country, adding that the situation could still be contained if the right steps are taken quickly,” it said.

Jonathan attended an October summit in Bamako to discuss winning back northern Mali from the Islamists.

ECOWAS, a 15-nation regional bloc, says it wants to deploy 3,300 troops to reclaim northern Mali and is waiting for approval from the UN.

Meanwhile, Malian Prime Minister Cheick Modibo Diarra quit Tuesday under pressure from influential former putschists who are opposed to a military intervention.

Ham recently told an audience in Washington that he was concerned about indications of growing links between African extremist groups that could pose a threat across the continent as well as to Europe and the United States.

“We have seen clear indications of collaboration amongst the organisations,” he said.

“In one instance … we believe and have seen reports that Boko Haram is receiving financial support, probably training, probably some explosives, from Al-Qaeda in the Lands of the Islamic Maghreb, and in a relationship that goes both ways.”

There has long been intense scrutiny over whether Boko Haram is forming operational ties with other extremist groups.

Diplomats have said previously that there has been evidence of Boko Haram members seeking training in northern Mali, but not of operational links.

The US has declared three Nigerian extremists “global terrorists,” but has declined to label Boko Haram as a whole a terrorist group due to its nebulous nature and domestic focus, among other factors.

It is believed to include various factions with differing aims, in addition to imitators and criminal gangs that carry out violence under the guise of the group.

Nigeria is Africa’s most populous nation and largest oil producer. Its 160 million population is roughly divided between a mainly Muslim north and predominantly Christian south

culled from Vanguard

The House of Representatives is set to allegedly exonerate the embattled Farouk Lawan, from the U.S. $620,000 bribery allegation leveled against him by billionaire oil magnate, Femi Otedola. This due to a reported lack of evidence.

Culled from allAfrica

Jonathan and Boko Haram

Culled from AllAfrica

What you ask a car dealer when buying a fairly used or tokunbo car should be different from what you ask a private seller while bargaining for a Nigerian used vehicle, writes Okechukwu Nnodim

The basic things you need to understand before buying a fairly used or tokunbo car have been discussed in our previous articles. However, it is important to know what to ask a private seller when you are bargaining for a Nigerian used car. Automobile engineers and car dealers say there are questions you should ask before buying a privately used vehicle.

They note that some of these questions can be asked in a telephone conversation or via email before even seeing the car in person. Others should be asked while taking a look at the used car. Experts stress that not asking these questions could lead to problems in the purchase of the Nigerian used vehicle. The Manager, JB Autos in Lagos, who simply addressed himself as Mr. Abiodun, says the prospective buyer must understand that Nigerian used cars that are offered for sale are often characterised with varied problems. Below are some questions you should ask the private seller when purchasing a Nigerian used car, according to experts:

Why are you offering your car for sale?

Many variables may warrant this, experts say. They note that it is best to ask this question earlier before going to take a look at the car. Some of the reasons why an individual might decide to sell his car may include, but not limited to the fact he bought a new car and wish to sell the old; the car offered for sale belongs to his parents or children and he doesn’t want to keep it; or the car is giving the user maintenance problems and he prefers selling it out to save cost. It is important you know this as a buyer because it will influence your ability to bargain.

What is the distance covered?

This question is best asked in advance. By knowing the kilometre or miles which the vehicle has covered, you will be able to offer reasonable price for it. Experts say a good knowledge of the mileage covered will help you determine a value before viewing the car in person.

What is the condition of the car?

Call the seller and ask him to describe the condition of the car during your conversation. His response will give you an insight of how the car is. The seller of a sound car will always boast of what he is offering for sale, but one who’s car is not in a good enough condition, will probably scout for words in a bid to convince the buyer. If the private seller says the car is excellent, then it is either going to be in excellent shape, which is always a good thing or it’s not and that means you’re dealing with a dishonest person, experts say. They advise that you walk away from any car described as excellent that clearly turns out bad. This is because the seller is trying to play a fast one on you.

If he says the car is good, you may go for it because a good used car is always a good value. Also it is important to know that a seller who is honest will not over-hype a used car just to get a buyer. Experts say if the seller describes the car as fair, this means the seller knows the value of his vehicle and wants to be real. Meanwhile, experts say people who describe their used car as ‘fair’ are either incredibly honest or shy when it comes to dealing with other citizens.

Was the car bought used?

You should inquire if the seller bought the car as a used vehicle. This question is best asked when viewing the car, experts say. Another car dealer at Shino Autos in Magodo, Lagos, Mr. Damilola Shino, says you should ask who the vehicle was bought from. Experts say the best answer to this question is when the private seller is the original owner. After establishing this, you should take a step further to get all the maintenance records of the car.

Where did you buy the car?

As you bargain, it is important to ask the seller where he bought the car. This is vital because you want to be sure it is not a stolen vehicle, if it was bought from an accredited dealer and to ascertain the state of the car. The government is becoming conscious about the histories of used cars, so you will be doing yourself some good by knowing where the car was bought and who used it in the past.

Experts say some cars may tend to malfunction when used in certain new areas, especially if the car is a fragile type. They note that many Nigerian used cars have hidden problems and most times owners of these vehicles never tell buyers. It is up to the buyer, therefore, to ask enough questions and even carry out some checks on the car before making payment.

Meanwhile, experts say during that negotiation process, it advisable to start with a low but reasonable offer. You should open negotiations with an offer that is low but within a reasonable range. This will make the seller know that you have interest in his car and will make him ready to complete a deal. Before probe how much the seller wish to sell his car, you should start negotiations with a number that is about 10 to 15 per cent lower than estimates. Always make sure you take a thorough look on the car before making any payment, because many sellers of used cars often use the money for something else immediate the vehicle is sold.

Culled From: The Punch

A single woman looks at a bachelor’s profile as a man poses in a glass box at the French dating site “adopt-a-guy” (adopte-un-mec) store in Paris September 12, 2012. The boutique, with a short-term lease, opened its doors on Tuesday, promising a high-end shopping experience for women searching for Mr Right. REUTERS/Christian Hartmann

Let’s Talk About Love 3:30

Niecy Nash hosts a slumber party with a gaggle of ladies to discuss the things that are important to them in the bedroom and how men can improve.

Comments

David1:
OH and women don’t make mistakes? Give me a break. You HAVE to be kidding me. You know what is wrong.?? You can NEVER please a female. WHY? Because they NEVER know what the F they want!!!!

Konservative:
Don’t take any advice from that loudmouth !

David1:
If she is complaining, she is cheating! Dump her on the nearest street corner!

My god – what has become of us! Drive through? Slap and tickle? Sex in jail? Are we so incredibly stupid and superficial? inane? Why are these young women having sex anyway? Some of them look like they could be 15-16 years old!

That’s because they probably are. Welcome to the media of a world run by a handful of callous criminals.

tommitoo:
where are the articles and clips of women telling us why they don’t want sex anymore? According to them, they’re fine healthy and nothing is wrong. #$%$! For most, a sexless marriage is unhealthy and needs the attention of a professional. Unless of course you put up with it for the kids then find… More

who cares:
I did not hear the MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN THE BEDROOM
I heard a little of what a woman wants
I noticed that this subject seemed to make the women a little unconfortable
How about a short vid on MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN THE BEDROOM and the rest of the house.

carol:
The main mistake men make in the bedroom is rushing things and going to fast. Take your time enjoy the moment”s” you’ll have a happier wife thereby having a happier life. For the most part sex should never be rushed unless you’ve been flirting at party or something all night long and only have a… More

who cares:
I guess others must be avoiding the subject – only 13 comments in 4 days

Jerry:
I SO MURCH LOVE IT BEEN DISCOUSE,YEAS I LOVE IT.

Mac:
I work all day to make the mortgage payment on the house the bedroom is attached to, give me some skull fix me a drink and let me get some rest for tomorrow you ungrateful wench!

Mac:
@Carol Aha aggravate him to death collect the life insurance, Good Plan!
@JacobD, You need help!
@Who Cares, As reflected in the video the attitude is “It’s all about me”.
@ all men commenting on my post, I can make these silly remarks I’m happily divorced you married guys better be… More

carol:
Who – It sure sounds like you’re trying to put words in my mouth. I never said all those things – you did. In my house there are things that I do and there are things that my husband does, but the most important things are the things that we do for each other.

who cares:
see that is the difference
When a woman does the dishes she thinks the man should do the dishes also
when a woman does the laundry she thinks the man should do the laundry too…. More

SpeakerMan:
Cheesy crumpet farts?

Kay:
To Tonya A: That is true love !

AJK:
First of all, That obnoxious baboon is the last person I would take advice from on ANY topic.

Konservative:
well said !

Barbara:
I’m missing everything in the bedroom, cause I don’t have anyone!

Ribka:
I like

Chasetta Shipp:
LOVE LIFE O.K AUG 2012……….

Chasetta Shipp:
NO BODY PERFECT.GOOD TIMES IN THE BEDROOM.

Danial:
I LOVE YOU
Shaft Why did I waste my time watching this sophomoric nonsense?

sneekypete:
your always about me me me. what about him. selfesh thats wha im hearing nothing else. i did not hre not one thing i how you try to do from him an what you are doingto get him in the mood or mode of go baby go thats a very big part of the for play as well. so girls! dont for get about us cuzz… More

RandyC:
OH MY GOD, HUSH UP THAT GIANT ANNOYING LADY! How do people this annoying end up in places I see them?

Jona Sinoimeri:
first you must have a real men in bed…..

Marcus:
I SAY SEX ANY DAY!!!!!!! CAN’T LIVE WITOUT IT……

Clayton:
What ever happened to couples communicating with “EACH OTHER”??? If there were better communication in AND out of the bedroom, there would be no need for videos like this.

Jillian:
Man, what kinda mistakes would allow you to get lucky? Pity?

nhz:
Q: How can real men tell when their lover has climaxed?
A: Real men don’t care.

Culled from Yahoo

First Lady Dame Patience Jonathan and her predecessor, Hajiya Turai Yar’Adua are ready to settle their dispute over a plot of land in Abuja out-of-court.

The documents before the court showed that the land was duly allocated to Turai’s pet project: the “Women and Youth Empowerment Foundation (WAYE)”, a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO), after it was issued with the Right of Occupancy for plot 1347 Cadastral Zone by the Federal Captal Territory (FCT) minister.

This, followed an application by the Registered Trustees of WYEF after paying N184.529 million.

Under the terms of grant, the plaintiff was given three years to develop the property based on approved building plans.

After the payments of the various levies, the plaintiff paid additional N76.936 million as building plan fees after which the grant and approval of the building plans were made and given in line with the master plan for Abuja.

Thereafter, the plaintiff appointed and mobilised a building company, Al-Cooks Nigeria Limited to develop the property for N13.516 million

On November 1, 2011, the Federal Capital Territory Administration (FCTA) sent an additional bill of N18.529 million being the balance of the various charges under the grant which the plaintiff paid the following day.

Shortly after these transactions, the minister for the FCT without reasons, issued a revocation notice on the said property which it re-allocated to the plaintiff for the purpose of building public institution (Training/Vocational Centre).

Immediately after the revocation, the FCT Minister, Bala Muhammed swiftly re-allocated the plot to another organisation – the African First Ladies Peace Centre, believed to be the pet project of Dame Jonathan.

It was at this stage that the Turai’s organisation went to court to challenge the actions of the minister with respect to the revocation letter.

Before Justice Peter Affen, it sought and obtained a restraining order, barring the minister and the FCTA, the AGIS and the Attorney-General of the Federation from carrying out further activities at the site.

However, while the order of the court was still subsisting, the defendants in defiance of the said order, mobilised people to the site to commence work.

Dissatisfied, counsel to WAYE, Innocent Lagi went back to the court and initiated contempt proceedings against the defendants.

Last Friday, the office of the Attorney-General of the Federation approached the court with a motion seeking to vacate the said order.

The Plateau state governor, Jonah Jang said he is not aware of the position of the purported Northern Governors Forum decision credited to the Niger State governor, Babangida Aliyu over the Special Task Force military operation in Barkin Ladi and Riyom local government areas of Plateau state.

A statement by the Director of Press Affairs to the governor, James Mannok said perhaps Mr Aliyu was speaking in his capacity as governor of Niger State, stressing that the governor need to appreciate the changing internal dynamics of the current security challenges in the affected areas of the state culminating in the military operation targeted at terrorists that are still hiding in the hills and killing innocent citizens on the plateau.

The statement added that the issue on ground is beyond settler-indigenes, but acts of terrorism that is capable of tearing this nation apart.

Mr Jang cautioned against statements that convey sentiments. He said statements from national leaders should be tailored towards a nationalistic posture especially at a time when the nation is yearning for greater harmony and in search of the sponsors of the despicable acts against innocent citizens.

Mr Aliyu, who is the Chairman of the Northern Governors’ Forum (NGF) and Governor of Niger State, on Sunday reacted to the quit notice issued to residents of Mahanga, Kakuruk, Maseh and Shong II in Barkin Ladi and Riyom Local Government Areas of Plateau State by the Special Military Task Force (STF), urging them to exercise caution in carrying out their duties.

The STF had on Saturday asked inhabitants of the affected areas to vacate within 48 hours along with their property, in readiness for operations to flush out insurgents that have been attacking residents of the communities.

But Mr Aliyu warned that the 48-hour ultimatum issued by the STF could lead to a breakdown of law and order, not only in Plateau State but in other parts of the country.